Archive for January, 2012

Step 7: Beware the slippery slope of cynicism and other alliteratives.

When I used to hear the word Spinster, like in my twenties, I immediately conjured an image. That image usually looked exactly like Miss Edna Gulch: She rides a bicycle probably everywhere, year round (check), she has impeccable posture (check), she appreciates a smartly tailored outfit (check), she dons an appropriate hat (check), she wears [...]

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Step 6: Grey Gardens

The sooner you let them fly along with your freak flag the better. I’ve known married women who told me that they couldn’t wait to have grey hair to let it go spindly and wild, sticking out of a messy bun like a pottery teacher. Personally, I started getting grey hairs at 18. At that [...]

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Step 5: Throw in the proverbial towel, again.

Retirement.  I endorse it.  I have recently declared full retirement and it is liberating.  Like, truly freeing.  For the first, no, wait, second time in my life I have retired from the game.  I have to admit, in early spring of 2011 I bought 9 reams of yarn, grey and red, I had every intention [...]

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